First Semester Portfolio- Favorite Piece

My favorite piece of writing this year was my Cause and Effect Essay, “An Object I wasn’t familiar with”. It is an essay about the time I got my face skinned up on a treadmill when I was little. In English we were assigned to write a cause and effect essay. I wanted to think of something I could write a lot about, and when I started brainstorming ideas, it just came to me. Once I began writing I was able to get really into it because I can remember everything so vividly. This is my favorite piece because I think it is really well written. I have lots of smiley face tricks, and good sentences causing it to be more detailed than most of my other pieces. I also like it because everything really flows together well, and I think it is an interesting story.


Story:

Being at my grandparent’s house was always fun. There was just so much to do. Games, toys, animals, everything a little kid could want. One year the toys didn't seem to be quite enough. I wanted to try something else. An object I wasn't familiar with. The moving object all my older cousins used, the treadmill. I sat there mesmerized by the strange object. It just kept moving and moving. It never seemed to run out. I knew that I should have gone and gotten permission, but let’s just say my curiosity got the best of me.

After I was alone, I got it working. I knew how to get it started because I had watched grandpa do it many times. I found the key and jabbed it into the slot like I was starting a car. The treadmill began to move. I smiled as I began walking. The speed picked up so I began jogging. My smile disappeared as I raced as fast as I could, trying to keep up with the treadmill's speed! It seemed to be going as faster than the speed of light! I didn't last long. I tripped and fell hitting my head. Since I was an inexperienced kid, I held on to the sides of the treadmill with all my might, thinking that was going to help me. Little did I know that if I had let go, my injuries would have been much less extreme. As I held on with all my might, my face began to burn. The treadmill felt hot rubbing against my cheek. My face began to sting. It felt as though I had just gotten a million rug burns. I released my tight grip, rolled to the end of the treadmill, and fell onto the carpet floor. I reached up to touch my face. I didn't feel skin. I felt my raw flesh, damp with blood.

My face was burning, so I cried and cried some more. When someone finally found me, I was bawling my eyes out. My mom and my grandma got me all patched up. They smothered my skinned face with "Soothing" ointment. It made me cry harder. The company’s definition of "soothing" must be different than mine. My grandma placed a piece of cloth over my skinned face and taped it down with some band-aids. It felt better not having it exposed anymore.

Having a scraped face didn't allow me to do much without hurting. I spent the rest of my vacation at my grandparent’s house lying in a bed like a couch potato. Basically the only things I got up for were food, to go to the bathroom, and to relocate to a new room. I watched a ton of TV- movie after movie, show after show. I was always bored except for when my cousins stopped running and playing to watch with me. Don't get me wrong I got tons of sympathy, but I would have traded all the presents and special treatment in the world, to have been able to run around and play with my family.

As the years went by, treadmills became less scary, and now I actually go on them to exercise for fun. From the experience I learned that I shouldn't mess with things I don't know how to use. I also learned to always ask permission first, which is a good skill to have. I rarely think of the horrible experience, but to this day I remember everything crystal clear. Overall, getting hurt on the treadmill didn't turn out to be all bad, although it did have some drawbacks.
Key: Simile, Hyphenated Modifier, Imagery